Broccoli is not appropriate in the workplace

So I work with a lady, let’s call her “Lee” as in brocco-lee. Every day, (and I’m talking every single day), she brings in frozen broccoli for lunch and eats in the “community kitchen.” She microwaves the broccoli sending the pungent fumes throughout the second floor. At first, I thought I liked the smell of broccoli. I do enjoy a good cruciferous veggie now and again. Now, to me, it smells like a baby diaper filled with Indian food.

I know what you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just leave?” Well, I have, and I do. But her lunches are at 1 pm. Right when I get back from mine. BEEP! I can almost smell the sponge-soaked-in-asparagus-pee escaping the microwave and wafting through the air as I walk up the stairs.

What else have I done? Well, I’m not a confrontational person (and Lee is a very, very nice lady. Totes oblivious, but nice). On the other hand, it is very difficult for me to deal with something day and day out for say 4 years now. So here is a series of lame/non-confrontational attempts.

    First attempt:
    Me: Hi Lee! What’chu got for lunch today?
    Lee: Oh just some steamed broccoli.
    Me: Oh really? I mean. I’m the type of person who has to have to variety. Don’t you ever get tired of broccoli every single day?
    Lee: Nope.

    Second attempt:
    Me: Hi Lee! How are you enjoying that kindle?
    Lee: I really like it.
    Me: You know it’s so beautiful outside.
    Lee: Oh yes. I love this weather.
    Me: Yeah. Because we’re inside all day, I like to spend my lunches outside. Just to get an hour in. In fact, I took my lunch and my iPad out there the other day. See that picnic table over there?
    Lee: Oh yeah. That would be nice. (then back to her kindle)

    Third attempt:
    Me: Hi Lee!
    Lee: Hi how are you?
    Me: Great, seems like a lot of people walk past here at lunch. I bet it would be a lot more private in the kitchen downstairs, you know? Because it has a door.
    Lee: Nah. I’m comfortable here. It really doesn’t bother me when people walk past.

COME ON! You’d think she’d be on to me by now. I’ve run out of casual ways to get to her to go somewhere else.

Maybe I could draw a broccoli floret on the microwave with a big red X through it. That’s pretty straightforward right?

Well, like anyone with a problem such as this, I googled. And turns out, wikihow has covered stinky lunches.

Anyone have a essential oil I can put on my wrist?

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