Troubles in Tall Town

So I went to Target today to pick up a prescription and… well let’s just say a got a little lost over by the women’s apparel. I found a pair of khakis for $5, which I really didn’t take seriously because Target does not do pants well. Then I held them up. What? They’re long enough?!

Let me explain something about myself first. Since I began buying my own clothes, I’ve worn “long” pants. If you don’t get my subtle implication, I’m saying, my parents bought me flood pants, high waters. ” “Long” pants are too expensive and hard to find.”

Of course, being a bargain hunting fashionista (I hate that word), I’ve learned where to get cheaper, longer pants. (Still haven’t found long enough pants for Donnie under $70).

So (back at Target)… you can imagine my surprise when I held up those khakis and the bottom hem hit the floor. Welp, that’s it, I have to go try them on. On the walk back to waiting room, I’m beside myself. I couldn’t believe it. Has Target finally done it? Offered a pair of pants for someone with my build?! (27×35)

I put the pants on and didn’t want to believe what I saw. My hopes crashed tragically to the thin, gray, speckled carpet. WTH? The crotch is halfway down my leg. What woman needs a crotch that big? They fit around the waist? I’d like to take a look at a woman with a tiny waist who needs a crotch that big. Then it hit me. These were “mom khakis.” ¬†NOOOOooooooOOOOOooooo! (I know. A bit dramatic, but you should’ve seen them, it wasn’t pretty.)

Then I thought, “When will Target get ‘pants’ right?” Or any store, for that matter, that doesn’t carry “long” pants? When will they get it?

I’m tired of paying extra for pants that fit. Or not being able to walk into a store and grab the first pair of pants I like on the hanger.

Until my pants hit the bargain stores, I’ll have to be on top of my game and find the best deals for these hard to find pants. Because, before I know it, I’ll be buying long pants for a mini-me. No daughter of mine will wear flood pants!

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