Paid programming

I had favorite programs as a kid, they would play back to back to back for hours on end on Saturdays. I watched my grandma’s TV in wonderment (my parents would never have let me watch TV all day).

The blue screen with white and yellow type is ever emblazoned in my memory. I’d memorize the numbers and sometimes write the really good deals down. The end “NO CODS”. That’s right, I LOVED watching infomercials. What’s a COD anyway?

I ooohed and awwwed at the cool building blocks. What?! Three payments of $35.99! That’s chump change! And it’s going on my Christmas list. Sometimes I would even yell, “Grandma! Come in here, come in here!” because if she didn’t write down the number for the dishes set, it would be gone forever. I never did get anything from infomercials. Maybe my grandma knew better.

Two weekends ago, Donnie was out of town. I couldn’t sleep so I flipped on the TV. WHA!? An infomercial! What happened to these things? They’re on in the middle of the night, that’s
what. Long story short, I got a helluva deal on some cool hair product “guaranteed” to make my hair smoother and I’m not allowed to watch infomercials anymore.

Here’s why:
1. I’m a little generous with my credit card in the middle of the night.
2. I’m a little too generous with my credit card after a few beers.
3. I’m a little generous with my credit card when Donnie’s not around.

To be fair though, I have waited a really long time to get something from an infomercial. I think my grandma would have been proud.

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