At this time, 10 years ago, I was sitting in a hospital recovery room scared to death. I’d just had a beautiful baby girl at 21 and my life was not where I’d wanted it to be. What can I say: Shit happens and sometimes smart people make stupid decisions.
I sat there alone in the hospital bed, begging the nurse to let me stay another night. For some reason, I didn’t want to take my new baby home. I wasn’t scared or anything like that. It’s just that, I didn’t want to let her down. As if she, as a newborn, had some sort of expectation already. I knew she didn’t know any better and that my love would be enough for her. But, I had expectations, and I was letting myself down. I think maybe I just needed her to open my eyes to that.
They say everything happens for a reason. I wouldn’t have seen it at the time but I think the reason I had Anya so early was to save me from a life of poor decisions and bad influences.
When Anya was born, I could see more clearly what I was supposed to do. I picked up the shambles of my life and, for Anya, I put myself back together so I could make a better life for her.
And today, 10 years later, I’m happy where I am. I’m proud of my life and I’m deeply in love with my family. In a way, I have her to thank for that.