Remember when I said I ignore the news?
This weekend I (organically) learned about 3 current events: devastating floods in Colorado, super sad shit in Syria and this Fantasy Football League.
Now, I don’t want you think I’m trying make light of the sad things going on in the world. I’m actually doing the opposite. I’m making heavy of them (if that’s a thing). In other words, I won’t write a blog post about them. Yeah, that sad.
This Fantasy Football League story, however, is a perfect light-hearted topic for the recent blogger’s-blocked Elefant Poop.
You probably don’t know this about me, but, I’m in a Fantasy Football League. I may be winning (I really don’t know). Maybe I would care more if we played like this Fantasy Football League. THIS is no ordinary Fantasy Football League. You see, these guys play NOT to lose because the loser has to get tattoo of the winner’s choice. That’s right. If Eli Manning throws a Hail Mary pass that’s neither Mary nor Hailing, someone may get inked! The only control the loser has is the choice of location.
Three years strong (yes it’s lasted 3 years), the Tattoo League has resulted in some rather good losers, relatively speaking. Each player has to sign a contract before the “season.” As it should be, the first loser was the idea-man. He now has a unicorn kicking a field goal adorning his upper thigh.
It’s funny to me that ESPN picked this up. Is it real? Or is this just fantasy? (Sorry, I had to). It’s totally real by the way.
While a tattoo is a pretty significant commitment to a bunch of football players in a fantasy game (yeah, it’s pretend), I say raise the stakes. Short of banana-hammocks, shorty robes or during “intimate” moments, no one is going to see that upper thigh. Put the injured Care Bear in a prime tattoo spot, the shoulder. Or better yet, slap it across your forehead. Now, that’s news.