Today I woke up to the lovely ambiance of the crackle-popping of my knees.

I got out of bed.
Crackle pop, Crackle pop, Crackle pop.

I walked down the stairs.
Crackle pop, Crackle pop, Crackle pop.

I made breakfast.
Crackle pop, Crackle pop, Crackle pop.

Usually, the crackle pop is more annoying than painful. But today, there was pain there. I hate these stairs that I’ve always loved. Who the hell buys a 2-story house when they’re going to get old soon!? I began to think, “I’m getting super old. My body is falling apart.”

So, the next natural step is to Google. I googled to see which celebrities are older than me and still actively reinventing themselves, still “cool,” not dead yet (eg Cameron Diaz). Turns out there are a lot of famous people who are older than me and don’t seem old at all!

Feeling like a spring chicken, I crackle-popped out the door. Then I ran straight smack into my new garage screen door. Now my face hurts and my knees hurt.

I’m not that old. I’m just clumsy, I justify. I popped a couple of my husband’s glucosamine just in case (well, after I Googled all the ingredients and read at least 3 articles of potential side effects.)

Turns out, in 6-8 weeks, my knees will be good as new! That is, if I don’t run into any more doors (unlikely).