Someone cuts me off in traffic.
A-hole! (I don't know why I censor this word when I'm alone in my car.)
The coffee at work has a drop left and the last person didn't start a new pot.
What an a-hole!
People talking, meeting and joking behind my desk all hours of the work day.
Shut it, a-holes! I'm trying to work.
Good morning? Good morning! Stop telling me Good Morning!
I don't want to talk to you. I don't want a hug. I don't want a fist bump. I'm here to work!
"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
This is a great reminder on perspective. That morning a-hole can impact my entire day and leave me with a horribly bad attitude. It makes me into an a-hole. If I let it roll, and move on. Those people who WANT to talk to me are no longer annoying a-holes, they are caring friends. (Sometimes caring friends need to know when to shut up, but that def doesn't make them a-holes.)
Me to Jimmy Johns employee: I'd like mayo on that slim.
Anonymous Jimmy Johns employee: It's procedure to not put sauces on these sandwiches.
Me to JJ employee: But, can you just do it? I mean, you have mayo back there, right?
Anon JJ employee: Well, no that's against our policy. I can give you mayo packets
Me to JJ employee: Policies and procedures aside, I have two hungry, messy little boys in my nice clean car and mayo packets will wreak havoc back there. They can barely open them! So I'll be opening 4-5 mayo packets while driving.
Anon JJ employee: I'm sorry ma'am that's all I can do.
Me: *pulls up to window*
Anon JJ employee: Here you go ma'am, we made sure to give you lots of mayo… Packets.
What a bunch of a-holes.