I’m a sports mom again!
My kids’ sports are in full swing, or kick, or tackle because my kids don’t swing anything in their sports.
I have 3 kids, which means I won’t make it to all the sporting events. Last Saturday, I went to my daughter’s soccer game. My 5 year old HATES going to soccer games and would rather be at big bro’s football game… but he had to go with mom this time.
Because he makes it his life’s mission to not watch even one second of soccer, Riley decided he’d bring something required a lot of Mommy-attention: a preschool workbook. And! Because he knows I love when he learns, he got my attention.
We sounded out words like r-r-rug and m-m-mop together as I taught him about letter sounds, while also making sure I didn’t miss the moments when Anya got the ball (all other soccer is boring unless your kid has the ball).
Next came fog. F-f-o… whoa! Anya’s got the ball there she—
Riley mistook the G sound for a K and enthusiastically yelled what sounded like an expletive during what I would describe as the quietest moment in sports history. You could here a pin drop, and you heard “FOK!” as plain as day. What followed was the most boisterous laughter ever heard at a sporting event.
Red-faced I explained to Riley that it was “fog” and the parents were laughing at something else (I have a sensitive kid).
Some of the nicer parents came up after the game and told me to make sure to read him something a little less profane next time.
There goes Riley’s favorite bedtime story, “Go the Fuck to Sleep.”